i'm lazy. lazy like a worm in the grass, not crawling.
i'm drawing smiley faces on white marshmallow clay.
and destroying them.
one of them has mumps.

hahah.

today we're going to pump petrol.
okay! bye!

unappreciation. unappreciation is perceived to be an indication of being unloved. thats what we fear most right? being unlovable. not even the s/he-doesnt-love-me-the-way-i-love-her/him (which by the way, i think is utter rubbish. because there's a simple solution: get over it and on with your life and stop pining! then again, im the one known to be pretty heartless, when it comes to humans. and then there's the fact that some people love to pine. strange things humans are. and well in that case, they deserve the misery.)

BUT anyway. unappreciation translates into an overwhelming sense of inadequecy because you try to earn love by merit and fail (the ones who pass lead more miserable lives, because they're just fending off inadequecy until it swallows them whole). which makes you feel hopeless and depressed and people end up killing themselves. maybe that explains the suicide rate among old men. who dont have friends to appreciate them and either have wives who threaten their manhood or who dont have wives to boost their ego. so unappreciation can kill. and then people surrounding death wonder why.

maybe thats why the immortalised quotes remind us to go hug a tree, to go count your blessings, to seize the day. just to prod us so we inject a little more appreciation into the world and depress the suicide rate.

and yet, maybe the people who are the most unappreciative are the family. we appreciate the friends. we buy stuff for them .. because we want the appreciation to be reciprocated. but we are our parents'. till we get married and/or move off anw. and perhaps, just perhaps, they forget who we are, because we've been us for so long they take it for granted things wont change. like, me. i'm trying to be good in a very bad vile world. i dont smoke i dont drink i dont club i dont (or at least im trying not to) waste my life im not into cutting im not overdosing myself on antidepressants .. and the list goes on. im not doing things that i could have been doing. and they forget. maybe i'll remind them. tomorrow. and maybe i havent been that appreciative of them either. so i'll try and hopefully they'll try and we'll reach an .. equilibrium.

if i have kids, i hope i'll be appreciative of them. somehow i think (if the dog is any benchmark) i'll be overappreciative. which isnt good either, i guess. cos they'll turn out to be fat headed brats. well we'll see. (:

In the great green room
There was a telephone
And a red balloon
And a picture of-
The cow jumping over the moon
And there were three little bears sitting on chairs
And two little kittens
And a pair of mittens
And a little toyhouse
And a young mouse
And a comb and a brush and a bowl full of mush
And a quiet old lady who was whispering "hush"

Goodnight room, Goodnight moon
Good night cow jumping over the moon
Goodnight light and the red balloon
Goodnight bears, Goodnight chairs
Goodnight kittens and goodnight mittens
Goodnight clocks and goodnight socks
Goodnight little house and goodnight mouse
Goodnight comb and goodnight brush
Goodnight nobody, Goodnight mush
And goodnight to the old lady whispering "hush"
Goodnight stars, Goodnight air
Goodnight noises everywhere

appreciation.

they've taken my phone for repair and its gonna be a week and my family has to be the only one who doesnt have spare phones lying around! and when i tried to call them to ask if they loan phones out they dont ans my call ): so much for customer care.






but then again, its quite liberating not have a phone around (:

Father, i want to know Thee, but my coward heart fears to give up its toys. i cannot part with them without inward bleeding, and i do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting. i come trembling, but i do come. please root from my heart all those things which i have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival. then shalt Thou make the place of Thy feet glorious. then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it, for Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night there. in Jesus' Name, amen.

yayyy pretty new lj (:



and doesnt anyone think my bloody snowman is adorable? (: it brings new meaning to my chinese name haha.

i know, its so not jan. and not that ive been actually living in the real world, but my aunt showed me this website thats quite cute! (: mrbrown.com. the persistently non-political podcasts. might interest those not in singapore haha i like number six (:

most interesting methods, dont you think?

1. river shrink.
When I was a kid, my sister liked her Levis form fitting. The first thing she did when she put a new pair on was go jump in the river. Then, she would wear them until they dried. Viola! She had a pair if perfect fitting jeans. No joke! A bathtub full of warm water would probably work just as well, if you don't have a river handy. Be more comfortable, too.

2. alum shrink.
Besides the smartass remarks, there really IS a way easily shrink clothing.
1. Get some REALLY HOT water (not BOILING, but just hot enough)
2. (This is Ironic seeing as "bob" actually said something about it) Break up a stick of Alum (White alum...etc.) and stir the water around.
3. Place the article of clothing in the water.
4. Let it sit for about a minute
5. WASH until clean in hot water
6. Dry on HIGH heat or hang dry.

What the alum is comonly used for is canning pickles and it makes the cucumbers solid. It is also used for acne and razor cuts. It sucks up moisture from a cut (blood) and closes and repairs the skin. In jeans, it is desolved into water and is slowly trying to suck up the moisture. Indoing so, the fabric in the water will also shrink. Well, hope that helps!

3. dryel shrink
Umm well actually I have the same problem and have to shrink jeans to fit me a lot... So I picked up a solution from a friend. Wash them on the hottest setting and dry them on the hottest setting, but when youre drying them throw in a Dryel sheet or something... I think thats what its called. My friend that is my size and has the same problem told me about this and I didnt believe her. But then she borrowed a pair of my jeans and dried them like that and they fit perfectly. So try it!

(jan asks: what on earth is dryel? google says: its a diy dry cleaning product; dryel website says no shrinkage!)

4. gasoline shrink.
To shrink your clothes, simply follow these instructions that my grandmother (GRHS) gave to me many years ago:
1) Fill a 2 gallon bucket with gasoline, kerosene or any other flammable agent.
2) Place the article of clothing to be shrunk into the bucket, taking care not to get any liquid on the hands.
3) Ignite a strike-anywhere match and quickly toss it into the bucket.
4) Step back from the bucket and watch as the shrinking occurs.
5) DO NOT APPROACH THE BUCKET until the shrinking has stopped.*
6) When the shrinking has stopped, remove shrunk clothing from the bucket and wear.


* Note: To stop shrinkage prematurely, douse bucket liberally with water.

i think. i shall try one and two.

msn asks are you ready to delete this person? interesting.





( nope im not dead yet (: )

be still my soul, God knows your way.

i miss the way you make me smile.

pics are up here and here. you need accounts to view tho.

close my eyes and count to ten and make everything wonderful again.